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I'm all topsy turvy,

Documenting Mid-July

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Hello, it's me! (Damn it, adele, you really ruined it for me) I have come to a realisation that this is my go-to silly face. Not too silly, but silly. I digress. Previously I mentioned about setting goals and attempting to achieve that and to be frank, I have done none of it. 

Instead, I made goals for 2017! 

I like how people make new year's resolution at the start of the year, and I start mid-year. Not to go into too much details, but it goes like: reading, more reading, more dancing, save monies and train flexibility/strength. 

Nothing too far-fetched, I hope. 

So far, I have only really been working on the training part. The rest... not so. Oops. 



But here's an uninteresting recap on July before it even ends! 

1. Nikki's coming of age, 


Haven't spoke to the girl for awhile, and I love everything about the party. May you forever be so blessed by God. 

2. Attempting Overwatch with Minz, 

...and failing terribly. Enjoyable nonetheless, minus the part whereby we were called out by the pro-gamers for pulling the team down. They were so rude, then again, I cuss behind the screens when I am on blackshot and a teamie is 'feeding'. Or you know.. getting no support from the entire team while on mobile legend, you get the drift. I will be better. 

3. Yayoi Kusama's exhibition with Rai, 





I wished I had more appreciation for art in different forms, but I just couldn't get out of the tradition paper, pencil, paintings etc. Also, not ideal if you are on the extreme side of trypophobia. I actually have a friend who is trypophobic, and I know she would die in this exhibition. I wish I was exaggerating. 

4. Losing a loved one, 

Never have I ever entertained a thought of being at a funeral of somebody you know your entire life. Sure, I have been to a funeral in the past, but never have I stood there grieving with everybody as a family. Glad to have all the family members together, comforting each other, drawing strength from each other. 

5. Being able to play the ukulele whilst singing, 

I played the ukulele almost everyday without fail and one day it just happened. I swore I could NEVER sing while playing, but the sheer miracle happened. I am super psyched about this one. Hoping to start learning a full song some day.

-- 


The rest of the events goes on as small meet-ups with everybody else here and there, sharing different insights of what life is, and how we all interpret it at this junction of our lives. Some people had it good, some people had it really bad. I have learnt many things from many people, each with different traits and beliefs. I also practise the art of keeping my mouth shut, haha. I am rather opinionated so this can be extremely toilsome. Some may argue that, since I am trying to 'find my voice', I should speak more. In actuality, when you just shut and listen, you'll learn more. You may not necessarily agree, but you understand. 

I also let people put whatever labels they wish on me. I remember going for a dance class and feeling crazily nervous. (Spins/pirouettes are the bane of my existence, and having an entire course on it meant that I am constantly out of comfort zone.) One of the student came up and to me and said, "you didn't practice righttttt?". I just smiled and carried out the routine. She didn't need to know the time invested. Some people just wants to be right, and that's fine by me. Of course, she didn't say that to hurt me, it was just a causal remark, but I didn't want to go through the usual "wah you don't know yesterday I keep doing this from 6-8pm blah blah blah". Saves quite a bit of energy haha. 

Then again, I have yet to perfect it so I might still be defensive. I'm still learning. On top of that, I also found myself minimizing the details of my personal life that I put online. I have formed a liking of keeping some memories personal. Somehow it became more sacred that way. While I still might brush through it, I let the details go. Maybe by doing so, less people will 'kaopeh' me on ask.fm hahah. 


Personally think I fared quite well this month in comparison of the past 6 months, yay to that baby steps! I hope I write again soon. 



x

Love, Crysy. 



Realignment

Monday, June 26, 2017


Hi, I haven’t written for the longest. I have no idea being sad and confused would take up so much of my energy/time. On the other hand, being rock bottom meant that the only way my life could swing was well, back up! The last time I wrote, it was Cocoa’s birthday. I spoke with such blanketed sadness, although it was a thank-you post, my vibe made my gratitude looks... sad. Ah, such was a time everything I touched withered. 

Yes, I do have that power. So do you, if you feel an emotion that intense. Such sombre thoughts, but these are not the reason why I am writing again. July is rollin’ in, and what is a better time then now to start my life afresh right? I am planning out mini personal goals for my month of July. Ironing out a few wrinkles here and there and get my life back.

Also, do you know how difficult it is to play a music instrument and sing at the same time? It is extremely so. To me at the very least! Kudos to all my nightingales.


I will come back with a well thought out goals for July so... till then, peeps!


x


Love, Crysy.