Sometimes I wished I was more equal to you. Sometimes I wished you see the things I hid from you.
"I don't want to know,"
You don't want to know anything bad, if I was bullied in school, or having issues with school work. I could be having cancer and you still wouldn't want to know. That was how I was taught to live, "if you don't know, it doesn't exist". I could be dying, but you would only choose to know and believe when I truly passed on.
I feel more alone than I should be, but you tell everybody. "I am always there for her", what's the right way then, to love a child. To cradle her when she's sick, or leave her alone to save up for a trip to the doc's? I don't know which is which anymore, and I wished I would not bring about the same mistake to my own kid.