Bunk beds

I am so in love with the idea, that I can pop my head down from the top of the bunk bed and watch you sleep or smile at me. It was nice. Watching you sleep and wake.

I had you all weekend, in fact, I was with you since last Wednesday. The time spent was lovely and quick.

Then, the withdrawals kick in. It is like one moment I am watching your chest rise and fall to your own breathing, and the next, you're a 5 hours flight away from me.

That is not very nice. It is unpleasant. My inner stage-5 clinger tells me that you're gone fall too long, that as my cells grow and die, your touch wouldn't be lingering around my body anymore. I need you. I crave you.

TW

I'm coming home! 🙌

Human

"She'll make a better BFF than I am. Except that she's too happy for me??? I'm someone who gets grumpy too, but she's 24/7 happy. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE"

We don't agree often, but this, I think we came to a consensus. I guess that's why I stuck around for so long. You are the strong, independent girl who aced all the projects in everybody's eyes, but you are only human to those you love.

I like that kind of simplicity.

Divers' Night (pt2)

Checked in, with H, to the hotel where the event is going to be held at and put down our things. Being the scardey cat I am... we knocked the door three times, ask to be excused, flushed the toilet bowl and open the curtains wide before settling down. What to do, better safe than sorry.

I hanged my dress, ironed his shirt (wife already) and jumped around in bed. I LOVE HOTEL BEDS. We rolled around in bed and watch 'Tom and Jerry' while waiting for his buddy to join us.. with McDonald's. I thought it was quite despicable of us to make him buy the McDonald's up while we enjoy the air condition and whatnot, oh well.



I didn't take OOTDs for the night, actually I only took 1 group photo? Anyhow, that was what I wore, white dress with crazy bareback. A lot of girls wore maxi dresses, long and elegant. Everybody looked beautiful that night?



My best buddies for the night.



SOMEHOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY, DIVERS ARE SUPPOSE TO 'KNOW' HOW TO DRINK. So everybody drank, in push-up position, as punishment and when mingling. The boys were made to drink over and over again. Initially the sirs made them drink was because there was too much beer, and I guess a lot of guys weren't touching the beers to impress their dates? After a few rounds the boys were drinking like its coke.







And so, it was a drink, drank, drunk night for some of the boys. I heard the tables near the sirs had to drink over 10 cups of beer. Everybody was uttering hilarious nonsense towards the end of the night. It was quite entertaining?!?! H didn't get drunk, he only had 4-5 cups. The furthest he went was feeling light-headed and it was quite exciting for him already.

OH AND I was sabo-ed on stage, with a few girls as my 'competitors', to drink?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? If you know me, my tolerance for alcohol is ZERO. That thing is poison to me. I was still telling H and my bff-for-the-night that if I was 'forced' to drink, I'd cry. I hate the taste and one sip of that shit I'm telling you my pin to my atm card. H tried to rescue me by telling the host he would drink 2 cups in my place, but one of the 'contestant' took it as a challenge, grabbed the mic and said "ok so for every cup the girls drink, their dates drink 2". I almost pushed that girl off the stage. I swear.

Then I learned that some of the girls were drinkers and they assumed that everybody can drink. So..... oh well. I had a sip and quickly escaped the limelight.



It ended alright, and I was happy because I get to hug H to sleep that night. We adopted a lost sheep who just ended his session at zouk (which was suppose to be the after party, but H's buddy K.O. from beer and my bff-for-the-night couldn't stay so...... H and I are still club virgins) and we all woke up to call for McDonald's delivery.

The guys left early the next day which gave H and I some time in the hotel room to....
CAMWHORE.



we probably took 100 over pictures that morning because the lighting was damn good and turns out that I forgot to wipe out my polaroid that night.

BED FACE, CAN U BEAT MY BED FACE.

Normally the girls would talk about how thankful they are for their bfs/dates to ask them out for such an amazing night, and how they didn't know how much suffering their bf/dates have gone through etcetera, but like Julian said "who else can he bring?" AND I ALWAYS LISTEN WHEN H TELLS ME ABT ARMY, so I know most of the shit he does. #girlfriendoftheyear

It was easily one of the best nights I have with H and I know that he had fun too. I guess that is what matters the most. Hooya.

Joy

He was supposed to die. I assume only I thought he would. I heard the adults talk about how my grandfather was under the car that knock him down. And I thought to myself "whoa, that is enough to claim anybody's life". 

Actually my grandfather swore he died. He said "I was gone for maybe 20 seconds" , he looked over at my grandmother and breathe, "but I thought of your grandmother, and how she's all alone battling stroke and I jolted awake". Which explains why the first thing he asked me when he saw me was "how is your grandmother".

He is a rugged man, or a 'sufferer' - in his own terms. The wounds hurt him, but he couldn't care less about the pain. He speaks with joy and enthusiasm. The nurse wanted to wheel him into another ward and he said "let's go!" in great delight. He look at me with stars in his eyes when he requested for some of his favourite bread from bread talk. He had metal things in and on his leg to put the broken bones back into place, and he told me he wanted the doctors to make him into iron man or transformers.

It is a great time to be around this man.

Under the weather

It's one of those morning that started eons ago, and you still cannot make up your mind if you're feeling okay. I couldn't decide how I was feeling so I didn't want to step out of my fort. I have no plans for the rest of my holidays other than going to and fro the hospital and work, I see it as a waste of time. I just want to enjoy myself for the last week of holidays but if I do so, it would be seen as unfilial. I have no idea when did I start to care so little for the family.. so disgustingly little.

I was concerned, but nobody seems to care that I'm around. Adults asked me to get out of the ward so that they could come in (they have this odd 4 people max thingy at the hosp). My grandfather requested silly things from me like taking the tubes out of his body for him, which technically would have ended his life. AND THEN getting angry at me for not obeying him.

I was asked to do this, do that, register this, complete that. When I stayed over to make sure my grandmother is doing fine, she told me "he is going to die". I was too busy to even think about death, and that honestly broke me, but I HAD to be strong because she isn't, and nobody in the family wants to risk having both grandparents staying in the hospital.

HW's graduation was like a runaway from reality.
And right now, I have to do this alone, again.

Divers' Night (pt1)

(29 Sept, 12 days before) Honwee is graduating as a diver in two weeks time, and after the spectacular underwater graduation there is a.... divers' night (kinda like social night, I guess)? Poor boy didn't even get to asked. The moment he said "I think there might be a chance that there is an event called 'social night'...", I replied "wah, what kind of dress should I get for the night ah?" Shameless level: Crystal Anyhow, I ALREADY got my dress. And all I can pretty much do now is to find a matching clutch and flats - sucks when you're too tall. IF YOU ASK ME, it is actually extremely nerve-wrecking. I know Honwee loves me with every fibre in his body but I am just afraid that I will disappoint him in anyway during the night itself. *inserts infinity sobbing faces*

(3rd Oct, 1 week before)  I picked out a present for Honwee!! He doesn't even know that I will be preparing him a gift. I realised that nobody (girls) actually prepare their dates anything, it has always been about the boys buying flowers, fetching their dates in limo yada, yada. I kind of hate this idea? So, I thought I should make this graduation about him, it IS about him what right?



Long story short, I got him a watch for the night (after consulting my bff aka watch-guru)... and probably for the rest of his life because I have no more money left to buy him new pretty watches, in fact I have no more money to buy him anything at all. I am quite excited to see his face on the 9th, I hope he likes it... I love how getting presents for Honwee can be so thrilling. It's a feeling I've never experienced before? I always thought buying something for someone meant having lesser for yourself, but the image of H's smile... just take my money la. (6th Oct, 4 days before)  I am so excited!! Over the weekend I met a few of HW's hilarious friends over basketball, HW and I booked a hotel room together with Melvin and Charmaine (HW's bunk mate and his bff) and I tried my hardest to keep his present a secret. I also drafted a card for him the previous week and I decided to watercolour them to live today!













I love how the card turned out, although I had a lousy time trying to get my shaky hands to work the magic of water colours. I guess I upped my game! Honwee is the only bf that loves my cards? I guess he'd frame them in the museum if he could, although frankly speaking I know its not that great. I can't wait for Thursday although technically I still have a lot things I've yet to do.

(9th Oct, 1 day before) I didn't update much because a family member got into a car accident so I spent a quite a bit of time at the hospital *insert sad face*. Anyhow, today is the graduation ceremony. I think it was amazing, Honwee had fun, I saw his signature colgate smile at least 100 times tonight.













It was a great night. CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW LIAO.

Give time, time.

There is just something about grainy pictures that are just so... Mmm.
I was re-reading my previous entries (oh, the grammar...) and I wanted to very specifically to bring this up. I am doing fine now. I don't think this concerns anybody other than Honwee, but I still want to tell you this because I cross my heart, it was one of the toughest period of my life. I don't remember myself crying and wailing so badly for the past 19 years of my life.

My biggest heart break is definitely not caused by a boy with a will to get under, but somebody carrying the same blood. I've never felt so damaged, but I am okay now.

I was so determined that I'll never get better, I didn't believe H when he told me it will get better. I am glad I took H's advice and let him nurse me back to recovery. Sometimes as cliche as it may sound, we need to give time, time.

T minus 2 weeks to School

I have been drafting an extremely long entry on H's Divers' Night (yes I'm drafting it ahead of time!!) and there are a few things I can't really share with you until social night is over. So many things I want to tell you all BUT I CAN'T. U UNDERSTAND MY AGONY?

Oh, and I really do appreciate you taking your time off reading this. We canz bee flens.

P/s: I tried the Real Nature Mask - Honey, and it sucked. Rachel says that is probably because my face is not suitable for the mask. U TRAI AT UR OWN RISK K. 

4/52

    A picture of Ashley, once a week, every week. Jaundice not cleared, had to sit outside the waiting room, at the clinic, with the family to hear Ashash wail while they attempt to draw blood from her little limp. Everybody's heart broke, but she's still a very brave girl.

Facial Mask

I feel that this entry is for girls? You can read on if you are curious!

I am suddenly so concern (and amazed - explain later) with my skin? I always thought masks are a waste of time and bimbos probably buy them to spend money on something they don't even see results in. I hardly ever take care of my skin, I know I may sound like I am bragging but I am not. I'm terrible with routines and sometimes I get too lazy to even brush my hair... or my teeth. My hygiene is definitely questionable. (It's okay, Honwee knows me by the back of his hand...) I am extremely amazed by how well my skin cope with my certified laziness? Well.. considering the fact that I probably only get pimples when aunt flo comes to visit.

Not that I am promoting any mask.... I bought a few from a regular store after Rachel helped me analyse a few important points. I guess I am merely fascinated by the human body....? Does this even make sense to you?  Oh and one tip that Rachel shared with me regarding mask: Never ever buy one of every different type of mask to go home and try. Buy at least 2 and use them consecutively to see any effect at all.

I tell you how I feel after I use them okay? Although my opinions are most probably subjective. "wahhhh, after the mask I feel my skin smooth smooth, like baby Ashley"

ON THE SIDE NOTE, I am going to meet baby Ash tomorrow! *insert infinite kisses*