It's not easy to love somebody with a death wish. I lost count on the number of times you stood by your phone just in case I sneak my last goodbye. All those times you rush to pack and come over just because I do not have the strength to carry on. You know it does not matter that I was happy an hour before. You know and you understand. Or at least you try.
What I have is not something I can change, but you know I am trying. You cannot fully comprehend what is happening, but you try. If things get tough and it's harder for me to breathe, you would bring me home and watch me sleep. You will jump at any sudden movement and told me to slap you awake if anything unpleasant happens.
I am not sure how long more I have to endure this, but I am really glad to have you going through it with me. You are the only person I do not have to explain the scars and wounds around my wrist. You are the only person who focus not what I have done to myself, but how I can break free. An hour ago I was thinking about dying again, but this time I am not so sure I want it anymore. It is not a big deal, but it is a step. Thank-you, love. Thank-you.